I feel like nothing could have prepared me to become a mom or going through birth. Everyone has such a different experience! I read all the things and asked friends millions of questions and still winging it at this mom thing.
My total labor was about 9 hours from my first contraction (6:30pm) to birth (3:20am). I know what your thinking, but my super quick birth resulted in some complications.
I was so unsure what contractions would even feel like. People described them to me as period cramps,but mine felt more like something was wrong with my kidneys (excruciating back pain). Starting at 6:30 I felt a pain in my back that wrapped to my abdomen with a tightening feeling. I noticed it was there but was not painful. So naturally I watched a movie and Corey took a nap. Around 9pm we tried using the contraction timer app(s) yes more than one… we had no idea what we were doing.
Called the hospital to see when should I come in and if I could shower. The nurse continued to reply with “can’t give you medical advice over the phone.” So then I said “Is it normal to feel like you have to poop”. She said come to the hospital now and don’t take a shower. Naturally I said ok and hopped into the shower and had Corey pack up the car!
Arrived around 10:30, at this point they had me pee in a cup (AGAIN), if your pregnant you will be doing a lot of urine samples. This is when the pain was starting to take my breath away. The nurse covid swabbed, checked me I was 6cm, requested epidural. I was having back labor which is just severe lower back pain and feels like spasms, which seemed to persists in between contractions.
I really thought I would be that intense woman screaming and yelling at my husband during labor but I only yelled at him once. I said “TELL ME TO BREATHE”. Just sounds so funny but when I was having contractions I would just hold my breath. I remember my sweet nurse saying “your so strong amber” and I responded “No, I feel so weak”. Worst pain I have ever experienced, THANK GOD FOR EPIDURALS!
12am Epidural is being placed, very nervous I would move during the placement. Initially It only worked on one side, he had me roll on my side and see if it would shift over but eventually had to re dose the epidural. By 1am I was numb except one spot on my lower left abdomen. Having that one spot that could feel the contractions helped me emencely when it came time to push.
The remainder of my story just feels like a blur, but eventually the doctor, nurse and surgical tech come in and say I can start pushing. So its 3am at this point. Thankfully they teach you how to push because I literally had no idea. At 3:20 Noah arrived.
& that’s when everything changed
Noah is immediately placed on my chest and I’m feeling shocked and just a little spacey, along with the normal shaking after delivery. I start feeling like this impending doom sensation and light headed. They just gave me this beautiful little miracle. I am feeling serious mom guilt that I am even considering asking them to take him. Literally debating if I should tell them to take him because I don’t want to be a “bad mom”.
Then I start to have spotty vision, finally tell them to take Noah, I was fading in and out. I heard them say blood pressure 60/30 these nurses rushed in. I looked at Corey and told him to go see the baby and I blacked out after that point.
After that very scary time (not sure how long Corey stopped the video) They tell me I hemorrhaged (loss of 500ml of blood) I lost 1000ml, Eventually needing a blood transfusion as my hemoglobin was trending down.
I asked Corey what were you thinking in that moment, he said
“I was praying to God because I thought I was about to lose my wife.”
Next day I was sent home with Noah who was perfectly healthy and I was just a little light headed and weak. Until the first night at home. We got home from the hospital at about 5pm and in the middle of the night I was changing Noah, Thank God I had just set him down. I went to walk and my leg gave out along with a horrible shock down my leg. Corey woke to my scream and me on the floor. It was instant tears, I have never felt something so painful.
For the next 2 weeks I tried to find answers why I couldn’t bear weight on my leg. I did not feel safe carrying my baby around the house. Besides for the constant pain my hip/leg would randomly give out while I was walking. Thankfully Corey had off for 8 weeks, which earlier in the pregnancy I questioned if he should be home that long. God had a plan for that.
First I called the OB office, they said hip pain was normal and I said “but I can’t walk?” they were not concerned. Google gave me too many diagnoses, So I went to a chiropractor thinking it might be an alignment issue. She spoke we with me and truly validated my feelings which I think I needed at that point 1 week pp and I would do anything to walk and carry my baby again. She cracked me and hooked me up to some TENS unit, felt great. BUT as I was leaving her office I fell down the stairs and the shocking pain was still there.
Thinking this can not be my life, I so badly wanted to go back to my normal and try to enjoy the beginning of motherhood. I would continuously cry because I needed so much help, could not walk and carry my baby, I did not want to fall holding him. I was actually using my mom/baby cart as a walker, I felt so pathetic. My mom kept offering to travel the 13 hours to help me.
Finally my neighbor works for a pain clinic and she has seen this before. I went to the doctor and she did a series of exams coming to the conclusion that my SI joint was inflamed and she wanted to give me an SI injection. Unfortunately she was booked for another 2 weeks. We prayed a lot, I have never even gone to the doctors before and low key thinking about my high deductible insurance. The Sunday before my Tuesday appointment my leg pain went to basically nothing. Very shocking but so happy to start my motherhood journey.
Physically the healing was going great after this point. Emotional healing will probably be on another post.
Thanks for reading, I actually wrote all this while it happening and then it has been months of my husband trying to convince me to be more vulnerable and share my story and start a blog.
It is still so crazy to me how every birth is different. I love hearing others birth stories and you should be comfortable sharing your story too!
Here is what I meant by my walker aka baby/mom cart. I saw this idea on Instagram. It made all my needs and baby needs portable. I had water, breast pump, diaper changing supplies and just basically all our needs. I linked my cart below.
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